I am incredibly grateful for the life that I've been given. I don't have everything served up to me on a silver platter, but I am aware that I have it alot eaasier than 95% of the worlds population. One thing that I am incredibly grateful for is choice. I'm not limited by time, people or education. Of course there are some times we have options, but the options choose us. That's life, thats God.
This is a season where I'm remembering everything that truly matters in life. I'm quite ok with the fact that I'm having this mid-life crisis season now, it means I won't waste tomorrow, but more importantly today. I could choose almost any path in life I wanted. I had the option of studying medicine, I've toyed with the idea of doing my PhD, I'd love to be a shoe designer, heck I'd even be a percussionist in a band if I could. The scary first world problem is is that they are all possible. The option to be greedy is there. However this beautiful season of simplicity has reminded me of one thing: I was born into this world to be 'with women'. Now thats really ambivalent- I could be 'with women' serving coffee, down a mine shaft, in the Bahamas, anywhere! To be a midwife though, means to be 'with women'. Without going all passionate on you, I've always dreamt of being a caseload midwife. Basically being with women from the beginning of their pregnancy, right through to after the birth. Really WITH women. I plan on doing that. So I have the option of honours, PhD yada yada yada, but no, I want to be with mums and be a mum. All the other options are just distractions.
Another option I have at the moment is to live passively or actively. God opened my eyes to the fact I have been living passively lately and I decided to pick up my A-game. I am an incredibly acting dreamer and very passionate about my future, however I've taken today for granted so much so that it's become yesterday before I've realised. I'm enjoying the last couple of months as a teenager and have never been so excited about hitting my 20's. My bones are telling me that this is going to be a good decade. I'm incredibly exciting about owning a 4WD- something I've always wanted to do. I plan on splurging on something in my 20's before I save like a poor man for a house. I also get a bit too excited looking at houses for sale knowing that I can independently purchase a house. Now it would be more than wonderful to be married and have someone to share it with, but I'm happy to solo house hunt. I'll spare you the excitement of being a practicing midwife, but thats in the near future excitement basket as well.
Now I would like to say by living actively I'm taking every oportunity that comes my way, but I'm not. There are so many great ones out there, so many amazing people to be friends with, and alot to learn. Not everything that is good is good for God's plan. So in the mean time I am thankful for yesterday, hopeful for tomorrow, but living for today.
Keep running the good race.
xx
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