Don't dare call me lucky!

Firstly, my apologies if this does not relate to you as it is a ranty blog post.


So today I am T-minus 7 days until I leave. No, that's not scary, but possibly frustrating. Mainly for one reason only. The closer I get to leaving, the more people I have asking me how I know I want to be a midwife and work overseas in that role. It has been and always will be God's responsibility for bestowing me with that privilege, honour and responsibility. Some people also have the hide (or make the mistake) of telling me I'm lucky that I know my 'purpose' in life. Let me assure you that the two words "lucky" and "purpose" have never worked together and I doubt they ever will. There is no said "luck" attached to the fact that I have been chosen to serve childbearing women. None what so ever. If you, for example wanted to bake a cake, you purposefully planned that this morning you would bake a double choc cake, where is the luck in that? Maybe in the way the cake turns out- it might not taste that great, it might not rise as much as expected, heck it might just be a dud. BUT the plan to go and make a cake was never "luck", it was "purpose".


Now I can imagine an rebuttle that knowing what you want to do with your entire life is a slightly more weighty decision than how to spend your morning. I agree. However we are all presented with choices. Life is one giant box of chocolates (not plagiarising that, I'll reference somewhere), and each chocolate is a choice. Just as choosing how to spend one's morning is a choice, so is choosing how to spend one's entire life. Sure I may have had a giant arrow in life to point me in the right direction, but that is MY blessing. Let me assure you, you have yours too. Many a time people have voiced that I am lucky to know my purpose. I call it blessed. I don't call that fact that you have an entire family that is committed to following the Lord lucky, that is an absolute blessing that has purposefully been given to you. I'm sure alot of people are long time Christians because of their parents. For me, knowing my purpose is pivotal, and I'm sure God is very much aware of that. When I struggle with my faith, I can't help but remember that without God I have no purpose, that if I was to continue along the path set out for me, without God, it would be empty. That is my blessing, there is no luck in it. Your blessing is there too, you might not realise it though...

The final countdown (ba da da dum, ba da da da dum)

At this point, I can do nothing but laugh, and crap my pants. I leave in 14 days. When did that happen!?
I'm spending my time doing all the important things, like buying undies, writing instructions for my Ma on how to use my iPhone, teaching my hair how to last more than a few days without being lathered up and trying to decide on the best textbook to take that doesn't weight a million kilo's. Sounds easier than it is.

At the 4 week mark I decided that when it was 3 weeks to go I'd be getting jittery. Then 3 weeks came and went and suddenly it was "just over 2". Oh man, and now its 2. The scary thing about all this is that I almost forgot about Christmas. Who forgets Christmas? I'll be honest. The biggest worry thus far is not my safety, being home sick, the fact that I might not enjoy my time in Nepal, or anything like that. It's been money (Yyu know you're an adult when you have dollar concerns!). I have not worked regularly since September. I have relied upon around 20 hours total casual work since then and fundraising. I planned to work full time for the 5 weeks between finishing uni and jet setting. At this point, I can safely say that hasn't and won't happen. The shocking part about all this is that it took someone else to say to me a few days ago that this was a way of stretching my faith in God. WOAH I've never heartily concurred more with anything in my life. You bet this is stretching. And if it isn't stretching, then I don't know what "stretching" is! And why didn't I realise this earlier?

As days go on, I am given the opportunity to increase my faith. I thought my faith was decent in the beginning. When you get to the point of desperado-crying you realise your faith ain't quite what you thought it was. Once again, I'll be honest (I can't fool anyone anyway, I've always sucked at it), with 2 weeks to go, I have 1/3 of the money I planned on leaving with. That's kind of scary. Maybe even really scary. Yep, I'm going with the latter. However, there is one thing that I know, and know more than ever before. I am the daughter of a God that provides and always will provide for my every need. I am reminded of Matt 6 and how God provides for the birds daily, so how much more will he provide for us as His children. Conveniently I have 2 birds inked on my wrist. What a reminder of my blessing and provision!

A big thankyou to everyone who has helped out in some way, shape or form. I sincerely appreciate every last 5 cent coin, help or advice.

Until next time
xx

Update: I ended up lasting 4 weeks without straightening my hair. MIRACLE!

Matt 6:33-34
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Shooting people

Another day, another blog, another story to share. I look forward to the day where I don’t have the finger muscle capacity to capture it all digitally for you. So in preparation for Nepal I have most definitely up graded my DSLR. There are three plans for Nepal- work with women (preferably almightily pregger ones), hike and take more photos than my CF card can handle. Now for the record I’m in no way, shape or form a photographer. I thoroughly enjoy taking photos and covering my walls with them, but I’m no better than the average person with an excellent camera. In saying that though, the only people I know that take more photos than me for the fun of it are paid photographers. I’m not sure of what to make of that. I mostly enjoy portraiture and macro photography. I do love a good sunset, or if I’m uber enthusiastic in the morning, sunrises aren’t so bad either. I have more photos of flowers on my portable hard drive than I know what to do with. They are usually my subjects purely because they are willing and Ma likes gardening so they are available. The way their colours react to morning and evening light definitely helps their case as to why they should be shot down by me.

It takes effort to shoot a sunrise or sunset. It really does. I have to get my boots on, trudge my way through the bush (so it happens to be next to my house but that’s beside the point), go to my little cliff face clearing and wait. Then, chances are the clouds will decide to audibly laugh at me by inhabiting the souls of kookaburras momentarily, followed by their congregation right over my focus point. Mother earth one, Kate zero. At this point I feel like my time is wasted. Not much good comes out of one massive clump of clouds. That is until I feel compelled to sit and wait around in silence. Alas, I get asked one question off hand, when no one is around more frequently than I ever imagined. “How do you know God loves you?”. Easy answer. One day God asked me what my favourite colour was- pink. From then on He has shown it to me every morning and every evening. The clouds might have ruined my photo opportunity, but if I wait around, I’ll see that God loves me. His love never fails.

On a whole other perspective, during one sunset shoot attempt. Conveniently a cloud smothered failure. I thought of how much I will miss the smell of eucalyptus trees and seeing the sunset over them in the evenings. That was until I remembered that no matter where I go, the sun will follow, and so will my pink sky. How beautiful it is that my sunset is someone else’s rise. That somewhere else in the world someone is pausing their to-do list to breathe in life and the glory that is God.

I am so excited to share portraits of worn, weary, yet joyful and appreciative faces with people at home. At the end of the day the Nepalese landscape is gorgeous, but it’s the people I am going for. If I’m blessed I’ll get a good face in front of a pink sky and know that God loves them too.

xx

Update: Nepal is turning me into a headband wearing woman. Currently I look like I’m wearing a turban. The fact that I have gone 12 days without a hair straightener is to be credited for this situation. I have to be honest, having the trusty old straightener die on me has been incredibly good practice for Nepal. I have also learnt that this trip is far more God ordained than I ever imagined it would be. My mind continues to be blown.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"- Romans 8:28

Life giving juice

Anyone who knows me at surface level knows I'm into helping people in some way. Anyone who knows me below surface level knows I'm into donating what I have readily available to someone who doesn't. As I'm still a poor uni student, that means being a regular blood donor and being on the mone marrow donor registry. I have precious and healthy cells rocking inside of me, continuously being produced and thrown away. I have an abundance of them while a tonne of people don't. I'm aware not everyone shares a similar opinion, but I feel selfish keeping everything to myself. If you consider blood as you do money- you work for it, gain it, store it and then say goodbye to it by spending it, its sort of simplified. I feel it is my duty and an honour to help those in need. If a little old lady dropped her groceries, the good thing to do would be to pick them up. If the same little old lady dropped her groceries because she was so fatigued due to having a low red blood cell count, I'd stick out my arm in an instant (while picking the groceries up with my other arm).

Now, unfortunately hip young peeps my age don't get so see the effects of donated blood. It really is unfortunate, because that life giving juice does amazing work. I've seen many blood transfusions as a nursing student. It has literally given life back to people! I fondly remember a young man with a young family suffering from leukaemia. Many blood transfusions replaced the cells destroyed by cancer and kept him alive to be with his family. I wish you could see the good it does. Until you do, trust me, it's amazing. Doctors can't save people without blood.

What does this have to do with Nepal? Valid question I hear you ask. Two risks posed to me in Nepal (however minor) are Malaria and Rabies. If I do not have the Rabies vaccine, I cannot donate blood for 12months upon returning from my trip. I am up for around $350 to vaccinate myself against a disease that I am highly unlikely to contract. I can't stand the thought of knowing over a 12 months period, I could make 4 donations and take part in saving 12 lives. The comparison between $350 and an individuals life is incomparable! So, more needles it is.

I'm not into shoving this sort of thing down people's throats, but there are so many excuses as to why people don't give blood. Some are valid, definately, others not. I give knowing that there is a chance either my mum, aunty or brother will need blood at some point in their lives. That's a statistic. Until then I know I have helped someone elses mum, aunty or brother.

I'm going to let this daggy teenage guy do some of the talking for me. He sums it up real well.

http://www.donateblood.com.au/videos/i-do-blood

So today I have exactly 100 days until I leave for Nepal, and I can't imagine sharing anything more important than blood donation on my most pertinent countdown point. Im sticking my arm out in just under a fortnight and would be more than happy to have a blood buddy with me. Who knows, maybe we could have a free milkshake afterwards!

xx

I woke up today in a very simple way

I am incredibly grateful for the life that I've been given. I don't have everything served up to me on a silver platter, but I am aware that I have it alot eaasier than 95% of the worlds population. One thing that I am incredibly grateful for is choice. I'm not limited by time, people or education. Of course there are some times we have options, but the options choose us. That's life, thats God.

This is a season where I'm remembering everything that truly matters in life. I'm quite ok with the fact that I'm having this mid-life crisis season now, it means I won't waste tomorrow, but more importantly today. I could choose almost any path in life I wanted. I had the option of studying medicine, I've toyed with the idea of doing my PhD, I'd love to be a shoe designer, heck I'd even be a percussionist in a band if I could. The scary first world problem is is that they are all possible. The option to be greedy is there. However this beautiful season of simplicity has reminded me of one thing: I was born into this world to be 'with women'. Now thats  really ambivalent- I could be 'with women' serving coffee, down a mine shaft, in the Bahamas, anywhere! To be a midwife though, means to be 'with women'. Without going all passionate on you, I've always dreamt of being a caseload midwife. Basically being with women from the beginning of their pregnancy, right through to after the birth. Really WITH women. I plan on doing that. So I have the option of honours, PhD yada yada yada, but no, I want to be with mums and be a mum. All the other options are just distractions.

Another option I have at the moment is to live passively or actively. God opened my eyes to the fact I have been living passively lately and I decided to pick up my A-game. I am an incredibly acting dreamer and very passionate about my future, however I've taken today for granted so much so that it's become yesterday before I've realised. I'm enjoying the last couple of months as a teenager and have never been so excited about hitting my 20's. My bones are telling me that this is going to be a good decade. I'm incredibly exciting about owning a 4WD- something I've always wanted to do. I plan on splurging on something in my 20's before I save like a poor man for a house. I also get a bit too excited looking at houses for sale knowing that I can independently purchase a house. Now it would be more than wonderful to be married and have someone to share it with, but I'm happy to solo house hunt. I'll spare you the excitement of being a practicing midwife, but thats in the near future excitement basket as well.

Now I would like to say by living actively I'm taking every oportunity that comes my way, but I'm not. There are so many great ones out there, so many amazing people to be friends with, and alot to learn. Not everything that is good is good for God's plan. So in the mean time I am thankful for yesterday, hopeful for tomorrow, but living for today.

Keep running the good race.
xx

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Welcome, welcome all, to a land where vanity is paramount. Are you used to seeing your reflection constantly? Yes? Good. Say goodbye to the mirror. Farewell thee.

I am reminded every time I have a shower that the rush of fresh, fluoride ridden, warm water pouring onto my face won't fit into my pack and be there with me in Nepal. Silky, clean hair won't fit either. It's a shame that my schedule and lack of showering have also forced my makeup to sit at home, twiddling it's thumbs waiting for my return. And my mirror? Well we've downsized. From several large wall mounted mirrors, to one little compact. This isn't a tough task to undertake, that is unless you are a vain or even slightly narcissistic. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't consider myself to be either. However, I would admit to taking pride in how I look and I cannot go to bed without a shower, under any circumstances. I enjoy doing my makeup and mascara is possibly the best invention- it makes me feel awake even when Im dead tired. I adore my BFF in my hair straightner. Where I would be without her, im not sure, but its safe to say it would be a messy, wavy, slept-with-wet-hair sort of world. I know I am not alone in this. And I also know this is very normal in the Western world.

I'm attempting to come up with strategies to combat my unsightly hair, face and skin while away. For starters, I'm searching internet dating sites for a short term boyfriend in headbands. I don't plan on keeping my hair down. Ever. If it gets a quick wash, I'll let the locks down, otherwise, they are under wraps. The compact mirror mentioned earlier will probably only get whipped out weekly to ensure the eyebrows aren't too unruly. All I can say is thankgoodness it goes against Nepalese culture to show the amount of skin we do in Australia. Phew, one less hassle.

If anyone has any good ideas, please, feel free to share. The more the merrier. My best idea thus far is to visit a day spa atleast once while Im there. That guarantees atleast one proper shower/bath, hair wash, massage etc. Actually, feel free to donate to the "Kate needs a shower fund". When I get back, I'll be sure to shower and scrub before I see anyone. Guess Ma will be the 'lucky' one to smell me when picking me up from the airport.

I could get all negative about the whole situation, but c'mon, at the end of the day it's my own choice. I can also have the satisfaction of saying that I legitimately immersed myself in the culture, even if that culture is unwashed hair and bucket washes.

This is a bit of a girls post. Sorry boys ;)
xx

A foreign exchange

So, here we are again. We must stop meeting like this. Too many late nights and thoughtful moments for our own good. Alas, here we are and we might as well make the most of it.


I've been thinking: Nepal is one helluva good escape from life. I mean how can leaving everyone and everything you know for 2 months not change things. If there was ever a way to forget, move on, appreciate, acknowledge, or make decisions about life, away from all you know sounds like the dandiest place to do it! In a foreign country, with new people and a new culture surrounding you, why not try and escape? Oh that might be because the one things that transcends distance, countries, cultures and people is your attitude. I'd love nothing more than to leave Australia with a good life, and return to a nicely 180 degree, Donna Hay, fluffy sponge cake life that is beyond magnificent and all thugs acceptable by the CWA.


Shame it is then, that I have the ability to make tomorrow a better day for myself just by choosing to do so. Jetting away would be so much more fun and exciting, but I suppose sometimes you just gotta do what you've just gotta do even when you don't feel like doing it. Bring on Nepal and all it's goods and bads, in all it's glory and misery. I'm sure by the end it will have seen my best an worst. I hope it brings me the dreams I'm forever chasing, but I know it's also up to me to keep on running hard and fast to reach them.


All I can say is, sometimes having insight into a situation is more painful than biting your own tongue and releasing blood. However it's definitely better for you ;)


Until next time amigos
Xx






So please forgive my little pessimistic moment. We all have them, I know, but you weren't obliged to hear it out